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Chapters Thirteen and Fourteen: Ana graduates, rah rah rah

So the last entry left off with me actually feeling a little bit sorry for Ana, as she bluntly analysed her relationship with Grey and admitted to Kate that he was only using her for sex. However, despite that moment of weakness on my part, I’m still waiting for Ana to grow a backbone and be the female protagonist I truly want to read about. She’s not out of the woods yet.

Lucky chapter thirteen begins with Ana phoning her mother who, if you’ve been riveted along the ride, is a serial monogamist who is on, like, her ninth husband. Ana decides against telling her mother about Grey and so there is literally one paragraph of smalltalk before she hangs up.

Nothing is gained or learned. If this were a tv show, the audience would have flipped over to the Kardashians by now.

Christian Grey then emails Ana with a dictionary definition of ‘submissive’ and ‘dominant’.

He also confirms when he will be picking her up for their next dinner date where, I predict, he will ask her why she constantly defies his wishes and why she insist on biting her lower lip and thereby, inexplicably, turning him on immensely.

They argue about her driving; she insists that she wants to, he refuses. I’m too tired to get into the romantic/sexist debate right now, but let’s just say that I’m displeased and rolling my eyes.

Ana calls her stepfather and has another meaningless conversation. Yes. Ana has family. Thank you, author, we remember.

Ana eventually scrubs herself up (there’s a whole paragraph about her shaving her legs) and then meets Grey at the restaurant. He orders wine pretentiously and takes her to the private dining room he’s booked. Really, what is the point? If you want to eat alone, eat at home. I like the hustle and bustle atmosphere of a restaurant. It’s part of the charm. You’re weird, Grey.

They go over the infamous contract and have oysters (please!)

As I predicted earlier, he asks her why she can never do what he says and then repeats that he can’t stay away from her, and then comes the lip biting. Ten pounds to Elle, for winning the most predictable bet.

After some more mindless conversation, the real clincher arrives. Grey promises Ana that if she were his sub, she wouldn’t have to worry about making any decisions because he would make them all for her.

Oh, so that’s the allure? Oh, my mistake. I’ve been a completely backwards numpty about this entire affair. He’s actually offering her a good thing; a wonderful opportunity. Why dress yourself, pick your own meals, exercise when you please, call your friends and family without having to answer to anybody or spend money by yourself when you could have a controlling billionaire who uses sex as a weapon do it for you?

No brainer.

I’m not exaggerating here, either, readers. This is exactly what Grey is proposing to Ana. That is the kind of relationship he wants; complete and utter ownership of the dark, medieval kind.

Ana then does something pretty cool. She decides that she’s going to cut all ties with him, under the promise to him that she’s taking some space and distance to consider his proposal. Grey picks up on this at first, demanding to know why it feels as if she’s saying goodbye but Ana insists that she just needs time.

She memorises his face as they say goodbye, considering in her mind that this may well be the last time that she sees him. Unfortunately for me, I can see that I’m only 40% of the way through this eBook so I have to assume he will be back. Unless Sebastian Brown or Lucien Purple show up with their riding crops and sex contracts.

Or Reverend Green. Ha.

Chapter fourteen opens with Ana having an erotic dream about Grey and the very riding crop I was just mocking. She wakes up all flustered and sweaty and talks to Kate for a bit. Then, she meets up with Ray (the stepdad) and it’s suddenly revealed that she and Kate are graduating today.

I guess this was mentioned earlier but I ignored it or was asleep.

Ray wishes her luck and takes his seat while she gets ready to walk up on stage and get her degree. Kate is valedictorian, whatever that is, so she has to make a speech and, lo and behold, Christian Grey is the guest speaker.

Goodie.

Girls all around Ana twitter about Christian and wonder if he’s single and Ana inwardly seethes.

His speech is particularly boring and long. Something about drive, something about hunger. I don’t know. Nothing about being adopted into an extremely rich and influential family, like he was, but whatever. Stay in school, kids.

When the whole affair is over, Christian finds Ana and demands to meet Ray. The latter is actually a lovely side character; very caring and fatherly and altogether rather sweet. When he and Christian meet, it’s awkward–especially when Kate introduces Christian as Ana’s boyfriend.

After Ana finds Kate and bitches her out for this little slip, Christian wins Ray over with talk of fishing. When Ana’s stepdad goes to the bathroom, Grey tells her she looks great and she melts like the wicked witch of the west.

He asks her if she’s had enough time and she admits that the relationship she wants is the “hearts and flowers” type.

Good for you, Ana.

I can’t stand being given flowers by prospective romantic partners now. I was in the hospital in December and the guy I was seeing was quite sweet in bringing flowers but I remember staring at them and thinking, “God, I’d rather have a hug”.

The gesture just sits there, chocolate too, and you say thank you and get embarrassed and feel like you owe him or have to give him something in return. I’d rather have the truth, I’d rather have the connection where a completely honest conversation can happen.

I remember coming downstairs for a funeral one day and the whole house being filled with white flowers.

So I don’t like getting given flowers anymore. Not by men.

Ana enjoys the rest of her graduation, goes home and then officially answers Christian, agreeing to give this whole sub/dom relationship a try.

She settled. She gave in. I have little hope for her now.

 

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